One the Eve of...

As stupid as it may sound I just turned to Mike and said..."I am having a really hard time writing this post." I have a glass of wine beside me and all our kids (for the time being) are sleeping snuggled in their beds. It's not that I have to search for words to write about our little Sam that makes this so difficult...it's that my baby...well...tomorrow he will be one year old. When it comes to my kids I do not see myself as the sentimental/nostalgic type...but Sam...he is my last babe. Don't get me wrong three kids is enough for us and I don't need or want anymore. It is just that my baby, my wingman, my VERY difficult infant boy is now maybe not a baby anymore. And honestly I am sad about that.

It is ironic that I feel the way I do considering the many trials Sam put us through especially in the first 6 months of his life. A sleeper he was not. A quiet, calm, happy baby...not even close. For those of you who can remember those days I know you are nodding in agreement. Mike and I desperately wished on many occasions for time to speed up and Sam to grow older. Mike felt that one would be the magical number. I can't even count how many times he stated "arghhh, I can't wait until he is one."

But now...our little Sammy J, Samsters, Sam-Sam, Slugger, Super Sam, Samorama is so much fun. To think of him being a walking toddler (as the next year will sure bring for him) is hard. No worries though I will make it through this. The girls are so excited to celebrate tomorrow and this weekend at his party that I can't help but be excited too.

So there I am...on record..open and honest that I would love to keep Sammy as he is forever (ok..for a little while longer at least). I just hope that I will be able to remember the way he is right now...the way I feel right now...my love for him...as he grows and changes. Feel free to remind me of this post when I bemoan how "I need Sammy to be older so he can..." I will need it, the reminders I mean, because with three kids now under four...well I am lucky to remember my underwear when I walk out the door!

and now I will begin my next mission...his birthday post...